Rejection equals depression

REJECTION I experienced it a lot of times, started at my childhood days. I remember when I was a kid I was least favorite in the family. My parents are just only one who appreciates me. I’ve been criticized because I’m not an honor student like what my cousins had achieved.

Remembering those memories always made me cry. They don’t know how hurt I am by those comparison, rejection and criticism. I remember those days that I will just go to my room and cry. Listening to Avril Lavigne song Nobody’s Home and Simple Plan Welcome to my Life lessen my pain a bit.

Rejection from those people is the reason why I am introvert, why I am afraid of challenge, why I am lacking in self-esteem. I am afraid to try something. I am afraid because I felt I can’t do that. Rejection that cause my depression that led in being unsuccessful.

I’ve experienced different kinds of rejection. Rejection by my relatives. Rejection when I was applying for job before. It’s hard but I was able to overcome all of it by God and my parents guidance and love.

I can’t say that I am successful now, however I felt I am. My parents and siblings are my success. They are the reason why I still fighting in this what we called life. God’s guidance and hope makes me feel strong to move on and go forward.

Although still struggling right now. I am hoping for a much better future without rejection. God please help me always. Guide may way and lighten up my mind.welcome_to_my_life_by_catt_gal_2006


Stress a life disturbance

Stress is simply a reaction to a stimulus that disturbs our physical or mental equilibrium. In other words, it’s an omnipresent part of life according to www.psychologytoday.com. That definition best describes what I am feeling nowadays.stressed-woman-130417.jpg

Everyday is very stressful. When will I able to overcome it? When will the time that I will not feel tired and unhappy with what is going on in my life? Sadly,  stress is everyday part of my life. Problem with work, people and money. Sometimes you feel so tired. You asking yourself when will the time that I will just feel relax and no worries. True that having a work is much better because you will get a salary of all stresses that will come your way. However, each day I told myself that it is much better to study than to work.

I don’t know maybe, I am not happy with my work now. I feel empty each day. What I always felt is tiredness, headache and boredness. I just want to try some other workplace that I will feel driven, comfortable, happy and contentment. My boss is nice and very supportive actually I learned a lot from her. But there are times that you want change. I want some kind of job that will give me fulfillment. A job that I know I really wanted. A job that I know I am good at. I guess my present job is not meant for me or it is not fit for me.

Right now I am trying to apply at online jobs, hopefully I could get one and I hope it is a part time and home-based job. Multiple companies calling me for an interview. However, I am worried. Last night, Teleperformance called me up and said if I am still interested to try. I want it so badly but I am not brave to gamble. Telus also ask me if I could come to their office for an interview but I declined it because it will have a conflict with my current work.

I hope there will be a  time that I will feel fulfilled, not stress free but less stress. I know stress is everywhere and it is part of our life. I just want a sense of fulfillment especially right now that I am getting old. I hope I will achieve something that I and my family can be proud of. I know God will guide me. He is my strength. I’ve been in this situation before and I know I will overcome it. 🙂